When you buy a puppy, it is the cutest thing, vulnerable, small, innocent. The excitement leading up to bringing that certain little someone home is such a delicious feeling, you’ve had to wait so long! As this little bundle with over-sized feet grows, it does do some unacceptable things – chewing shoes, pee-ing on the carpet, barking, jumping up, interrupting etc.

Training your puppy with accolade and treats whenever it doesn’t do those unacceptable things, when he only eats what he’s given, when he behaves himself and is socialised, is expected and essential. 

And when your puppy grows up, you glow when people say; “What a well behaved dog”, “How loyal he is, look at him watching you”, “How agreeable and acceptable in company he’s become”, “What a good dog”.

This creature waits now to be told what to do, he is compliant in every way. He doesn’t think for himself except in dangerous situations, when a glimpse of the old character shows itself.
I realise this is the only way to co-exist with an animal, what troubles me though is the similarities I can see in my own childhood.

Being the born worrier that I am convinced I was, the accolades I received for being such a ‘good girl’ always came when I was quiet, compliant and waiting to be told what to do next. 

My mum recognised that I was ‘bright’ but also frail, always ill with tonsillitis and rather pensive a lot of the time. She wrapped me up with such a forcefield of love that I felt safe inside my cloak of invincibility. 

But starting school was a shock.

No one could see my cloak, I was exposed, an imposter.

Being good and quiet generally only impressed the teachers who were extremely happy to have such a good girl in their class. But needless to say, other more hardy souls in the classroom found this quietness at best a challenge and at worst a target.
‘Welcome you bullies, welcome to my life. I obviously deserve you since I am well trained in compliance and ill equipped to fight back’. My self destructive thoughts verified the outcome.

Only now do I realise that I was far happier than those who found me a target. I was a far nicer person, full of empathy for others where loyalty overrode their vindictive, short victories.

I’d rather own a well trained, loyal dog than one that bites.